Learning to Love
by icanhazanime
Summary: Growing up, Crona had never really learned what the different emotions were, and what they meant. Happy, sad, scared; those were all emotions that he understood. He didn't, however, understand any other emotions. He couldn't grasp the concept of loyalty, gratitude, jealously, and most of all, love. (KidxCrona, CronaxKid, KidxChrona, ChronaxKid teacher and student AU)
1. Chapter 1

**My first fanfiction, featuring my OTP: KidxCrona. It's a terribly ****cliché teacher and student high school AU, but it's been buzzing around in my brain for a while now, so, enjoy! I'll hopefully have the next chapter up within a week.**

* * *

Growing up, Crona had never really learned what the different emotions were, and what they meant. He knew the basics, but nothing beyond that. Happy, sad, scared; those were all emotions that he understood. He didn't, however, understand any other emotions. He couldn't grasp the concept of loyalty, gratitude, jealously, and most of all, love.

His first exposure to any emotion he had ever experienced that was directed towards him other than hate and disappointment came when he was taken from his abusive mother and brought to an orphanage. There, two years ago, at the age of 16, he witnessed pity and kindness for the first time. It took some work, but he eventually learned the difference between the two. Some people were only nice to him because they knew what he went through, but others were nice to him because they were kind people.

The first time he felt that someone loved him was after he had been with his new adopted parents, a man called Stein and his wife Marie, for a few months. He had started to cry one day after he burnt the bread he was trying to make into toast. He had never used a toaster before, but had seen others use it, and wanted to try on his own. He felt so guilty for burning the bread and creating a foul smell in the kitchen that he didn't know what to do, so he did the only thing he knew how to do; curl up in the corner and cry. Marie had found him minutes later, and immediately took him into her arms and held him until he had calmed. She wasn't mad at him, or disappointed, or hostile at all. In that moment, Crona realized what it was to have someone love and care for him. He learned other feelings and emotions quickly after that, with the help of Marie and his favorite teacher, Mr. Death.

The one emotion he couldn't figure out, though, was the other kind of love.

This confusion was what brought him to his favorite teacher's classroom after school ended one Friday afternoon. He had been feeling things he never had before, and thought what he was feeling might be love. To Crona, though, love seemed like an emotion that didn't quite describe what he was feeling. Maybe a weaker kind of the love he had seen between Stein and Marie? Or maybe it was a stronger kind of the love he felt for his adopted mother. The love he felt when he looked at Marie was a warm gratitude and admiration, but the feeling he got when he looked at that one person was so different. His heart pounded and his tummy felt odd. His mind would go hazy and his palms would sweat. This was the reason he was standing outside of classroom number eight instead of walking home, or talking to Marie about these feelings. For some reason, these feelings seemed much too personal and taboo to be talking to his adopted mother about. So, he came to the only other adult he trusted for answers.

He walked through the halls of his high school slowly and nervously. His fear of how Mr. Death would react to his questions was keeping him from walking with the flow of the other students, who were eager to leave the school. Finally, he made it to the classroom door. After standing outside until the rest of the students cleared out of the school, Crona fought his anxiety and took a deep breath. He then raised his hand and knocked lightly on the door.

* * *

As soon as class ended every day, Kid would go around his classroom and make sure all the desks were symmetrically aligned. Eight in the front left, front right, back left, and back right. His desk was in the exact center of the front of the room, with everything on top arranged in perfect symmetry. Kid sighed and relaxed back into his desk chair once he had fixed the room to his liking. He took a moment to admire the perfect symmetry of the room before his thoughts drifted to his job. He had so many papers to grade. Sighing and rubbing his temples to try to rid himself of a headache, Kid leaned over his desk and got to work.

The young teacher had only been at work for maybe five minutes before he came across the paper of one particular student that invaded his mind in sometimes inappropriate ways. He sighed as he looked at the name casually scrawled atop the paper. _Crona Gorgon _it read. He felt his face soften into a smile as he thought about the shy student. Crona had only begun attending his class a few months ago, but Kid already knew him better than any of his other students. The young boy with the pink hair had caught his attention quickly; partially due to his symmetrical dress but asymmetrical hair. The combination annoyed Kid to no end, but also intrigued him. He had decided quickly that he liked the boy, and for some reason, the boy liked him too. Maybe it was because he was one of the youngest teachers at the age of 22, or because Kid had always been exceptionally kind to him due to the teacher's strange attraction to the boy.

Kid smiled as memories of their talks together drifted through Kid's mind as he sat at his desk. Crona came to him often with questions about how school, and life in general, worked. Sometimes their conversations were serious and sometimes they were casual, but no matter how much interaction they had one day or the other, Kid would always dream of the boy at night. A sigh of frustration come from the English teacher, _I can't think about him like this. It's wrong, not to mention illegal, but I just can't seem to get him out of my head. _In the midst of his inner conflict, a knock at his classroom door sounded. Sighing once more, Kid called out a, "Come in," as he looked back down at the papers he was to grade. Whoever was at the door didn't concern him much. If Crona had wanted to come by and talk, he would have already, so there was no one left for Kid to be excited about getting a visit from.

"M-Mr. Death?" A small, nervous voice called out to him from the doorway, causing his head to snap up. The sight of the timid pink-haired boy standing in his classroom made him smile as he stood and beckoned the student over to his desk.

"What can I help you with, Crona?" He asked as he pulled over a stool so Crona could sit next to his desk.

Crona gave a shy smile and shuffled down the steps of the classroom to the large black desk at the front. He sat down on the stool, like he always did, while Kid sat in his desk chair, but turned to look at Crona. The boy fiddled with the long sleeves of his shirt and bit his lip nervously. Though it had always been hard for him to talk to the older man, this time was even more difficult.

Kid leaned forward and rested both elbows on his knees. "What is it, Crona?" He asked again, sending the shy boy a kind smile.

"It's just…" Crona trailed off and sighed before lowering his head to his hands and knotting his fingers in pink hair. "I've just been having these weird feelings about someone and they make my heart race and my tummy feels weird when I talk to them and I think about them a lot and I don't understand why and I don't know what it means and it's so frustrating!" Crona ranted as he squeezed his eyes shut and trembled slightly.

Kid's face softened at Crona disposition and confession. His heart clenched as he realized what the boy was most likely talking about. Though he knew he could never in his wildest dreams be with this boy, his student, it still hurt. Despite his own emotional pain, he knew he was going to try to help Crona any way he possibly could. After realizing this, Kid sat up and smiled softly at the boy who was now peaking at him from between his fingers. "Well, Crona, from what you're describing, it sounds like you have a crush."

"A-a what?" Crona asked, lifting his face from his hands to reveal his confused expression.

Kid smiled at the innocent boy in front of him, "a crush. It's when you want to be more than friends with someone. You want to be near them, hug them, hold their hand, kiss them, and just… be with them. Does that make sense?"

Crona nodded and thought about what his teacher had told him. "S-so… what do I do about it?"

The feeling of his heart sinking came back at Crona's question. He was about to tell the only person he ever liked romantically to go after someone else. "Well, you could try to forget about those feelings and move on," _yeah, 'cause that really works_, Kid thought to himself sarcastically, "or you could tell her how you feel and hope she feels the same way."

Pausing for a moment, Crona considered what the older man had just told him. It was good advice, but was he only allowed to feel this way about a girl? He didn't understand why his teacher had assumed he felt this way about a girl. He saw nothing wrong with being with another boy. "Okay, but it's a him," Crona clarified for the man innocently.

A string of curses ran through Kid's mind at Crona's confession. Now he knew for a fact that there was only one thing keeping him from making a move on the boy. Kid cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to keep his raging emotions from showing on his face. "Well, then, you could tell him and hope he feels the same way," he advised with a forced smile.

"I-I can't do that," Crona protested and blushed deeply. No way could he ever get up the courage to tell Mr. Death that it was actually _him _Crona had a 'crush' on. No, that would be mortifying. He would never be able to step foot in the man's classroom again!


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry this took a little longer than I thought! I'll try to keep posting regularly. Thanks for the reviews and follows!**

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Crona squirmed in his seat as Kid thought about his answer. Kid could understand why the young student would say that, and gave him a kind smile. After all, Kid was feeling the same way; afraid of telling the object of his affection the truth. With another forced smile, he said, "I know it can be scary. Sometimes you just have to take a chance, though, Crona."

A shiver ran down Crona's spine as Kid said his name. He loved the way it seemed to flow from his lips so perfectly, also as if with adoration. Pushing past his sudden wave of attraction, Crona shook his head quickly. "N-no. I can't. I-I could… get in trouble if I told them," he admitted, looking down at his lap shamefully.

Kid's brow creased in confusion, "I don't understand. How could telling someone how you feel get you in trouble?" Is it that he likes someone he isn't supposed to? Is it someone off limits? The young teacher ran a list of all the students he could think of; searching for one that might be the one Crona has a crush on. _I really shouldn't care this much. I need to stop. I can't keep obsessing over someone I can never have._

Crona felt hot tears of frustration build in his eyes. He realized that talking to Mr. Death about this was a horrible idea. He can't be honest with the man at all, and there was no way he could get any advice from him. Curling his pale hands into fists, Crona spoke, his voice thick with emotion. "I just can't, okay?!" He stood up quickly and grabbed his bag, turning to the door.

The demeanor of the teacher changed quickly at the sight of Crona so angry and upset. "Crona, wai-" he called, and stood up to grab the boy's arm. He couldn't let him leave while he's so emotional. Kid cared about the boy way too much to let that happen. His plea was cut off, though, by the soft voice of the pink haired youth.

"Leave me alone!" Crona yelled, shocking himself. He was never loud like this, but he was so desperate to get out of the situation that his body acted without thought. He yanked his arm roughly out of Kid's hand, and stomped to the door. He threw it open and took off running down the hallway, letting tears flow down his face. _Stupid, stupid, STUPID! _His thoughts were overrun with hateful words. They weren't aimed at Kid though, not at all, but at himself. Kid did nothing wrong, it was his fault; all of it. _STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!_ His thoughts were loud and clouded his brain as he ran along the sidewalks towards home.

Kid was left standing in his classroom, completely stunned. What had just happened? It was so strange for Crona to act this way. Two fingers reached to massage his temples, suddenly feeling a strong headache pound in his skull. The whole encounter was so… strange. And no he was left with dark thoughts about himself, and what he had done to the young boy that he cared _way_ too much about. He hated himself for whatever he had done to hurt Crona. _Crona… I'm so sorry,_ He thought, as if the words could somehow reach the boy. Sighing, Kid sat back down on his desk, hung his head, and let himself wallow in thoughts of concern and self-hate.

* * *

By the time Crona reached his home, his tears had dried and his emotions were drained. His feet dragged on the ground as he trudged up the stairs of his home, only to be greeted by his brother; a boy Stein and Marie had adopted soon after Crona. "Hey, pink haired punk!" Ragnarok boasted, coming up behind Crona and pulling him into a headlock and rubbing his head with his fist roughly. "What took you so long? Whoring yourself around? You should've been; it's the only thing that could ever make you useful!" The muscular boy barked a laugh at his own insult.

"Hi, Rag," Crona grumbled, shoving the slightly younger boy off of him. He had gotten used to the abuse from Ragnarok, and never tried to defend himself anymore. He really didn't see a point; most of what he said was true. Though, Crona's best and only friend Maka would strongly disagree. He made his way to his room quickly, keeping his head down to avoid any conversation with Marie.

"Hey, Cro-!" Marie started, trying to welcome her son home, but was cut off by the sound of his door slamming shut, shortly followed by the sound of him locking the door. Her smiled dropped in disappointment and concern, but she thought it best not to pester him. The frown stuck to her face as she turned back to the stove, continuing to stir the sauce for diner.

As soon as the lock clicked, Crona fell on his bed and buried his head in his arms. The silence of his room was suffocating and caused his mind to wander to the past few hours. Suddenly, emotions flooded through his again, making sobs wrack their way through his chest once again. He found his way to his pillow, using it to cradle his head and soak up his tears. He would never be able to face Mr. Death again; not after today. The embarrassment Crona felt made him sick to his stomach and caused his head to spin. He couldn't imagine having to go to school the next day.

Once he got a handle on his tears, Crona picked up the cell phone Marie had gotten him and called Maka. He waited anxiously as the phone rang, biting his lip and picking at the hem of his shirt. The phone clicked, and he could hear his friend's voice on the other end of the call, making him relax.

_"Hello? Crona? What's wrong?"_ She asked him with concern. He never called her just for a friendly chat or hello, but only when he was upset or in a situation where he needed help.

"Maka," Crona sighed with relief at the sound of her voice. "I-I don't know if I can go to school t-tomorrow," He told her honestly; his fear and embarrassment slipping into his voice.

_"What? Why not? Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"_

"Um, not physically," he admitted. "I'm just, uh… scared. I-I talked to Mr. Death today after school, a-and I…" he trailed off as his voice broke from the tears collecting in his eyes once again. He knew he would have to tell Maka about his crush on their English teacher for her to understand his fear. But even though he knew telling her was what he needed to do, it still terrified him. He took a deep breath and decided to say it as quickly as he could, just to get it out there. Maybe that would make it easier. "I was having these weird feelings and I asked him about them and he said it was a crush. But I can't tell the person I have a crush on that I have a crush on them because I'm sure I would get in trouble and then I got frustrated and yelled at him and ran away." He gasped for breath a few times after he had finished speaking and kept his eyes shut tightly; as they had been for a while now.

A long pause on Maka's end followed as she thought about what he had just told her. _"Well, who is it?" _

Crona licked his lips nervously before answering her in a quiet voice. "M-Mr. Death." Again, a long pause followed, making Crona even more nervous than he already was. "M-Maka?"

_"Yeah Crona, I'm here. I'm just… surprised. I never thought you would be gay, or crushing on a teacher." _She let out a stressed sigh. _"Does he know?"_

"N-Not that I have a crush on him, b-but that I, um, am gay?" He was unsure of what exactly that word meant, but he figured if Maka had said he was, she was right. She was at the top of their class, anyway, so he trusted her judgment.

Maka realized he didn't quite understand, and clarified for him, _"gay means that you like people who are the same gender as you. So, if you only ever have crushes on men, you're probably gay. As for him being a teacher… well, I don't think it would be a good idea to tell him. Even though you are 18, it still isn't appropriate to have a relationship with your teacher. Does that make sense?"_

Crona nodded, then realized he needed to speak. "Yes, it does. Thank you, Maka. I-I won't tell him, I promise. I don't really want him to know anyway."

_"Okay, good. Don't be nervous around him, you didn't do anything wrong. And I'll be there with you when you go to class tomorrow, okay? You'll be alright. I have to go though, I'm meeting Soul at the park to tutor him, and he just showed up. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"_

"Okay, bye Maka," he said, then pressed the little red button on his phone. She was right; everything will be okay. As long as he has her, he'll be fine.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for such a long wait, I'll try to upload more often .**

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The next morning, Crona awoke with a fast heart beat and a nervous layer of sweat coating his palms. He stared at the ceiling as he lay in bed long than he should have before he got up and got ready for the day before him. Going to school was not at all something Crona was looking forward to, but he knew it would be best if he just got it over with. The longer he ran the harder facing his fears would become.

He got ready for school in a daze; him mind constantly teleporting him back to the fond memories he had with his English teacher. One in particular, that sparked his initial attraction to Kid, was the first day of school two years ago.

_ "…and this is the English room!" The kind lady from reception finished, "the class you'll be attending is English II, the last class of the day. Would you like to meet the teacher?" She asked him with a smile. _

_ He had paused to think about her offer. The other teachers she had introduced him to already were fairly nice, but they still intimidated him. They all seemed grumpy. Maybe because his quick tour around the school was at 6 in the morning. That was the time the teachers arrived for the day, after all. He decided it would be better to meet this new teacher while he was in the company of this cheery lady opposed to meeting them all alone later. "O-okay," he answered quietly, nodding. _

_ "Great!" The lady beamed at him and led him into the nicely kept classroom. Inside, they found a rather frantic young teacher. He was running around the room, fixing the desks and any odd thing he found in the room. Crona was shocked by his behavior, but was more shocked by his appearance. He looked only a few years older than the kids he would be teaching. "This is our newest teacher, , fresh out of college! He graduated high school early, and just graduated a few months ago at the age of twenty! He's very bright, but strange. I think you'll enjoy having him as a teacher, Mr. Gorgon."_

_ The young teacher paused his cleaning as he heard the secretary, and turned to look them. He took a moment to straighten out his attire before approaching them. "I'm Mr. Death, I'm glad to meet you," he said with a small smile, reaching out his hand for Crona to shake._

_ "C-Crona Gorgon," he said shyly then reached out a timid hand to shake his teacher's. None of the other teachers had seemed to care enough to shake his hand and properly introduce themselves. The fact that this new teacher did surprised him, but also made him feel ever so slightly more important. _

_ "Well, Crona," Kid said, pulling away from their greeting. "I like the way you dress. It's very symmetrical. I look forward to having you in my class," he said, smiling. _

_ "Okay, moving on!" The rosy lady spoke, "I think I'll show you where all the restrooms are now, that seems important!" Crona nodded and followed behind her, but his mind was stuck back in the English room. That man… he had actually complemented him. No one had ever said anything like that about him before. It made him feel… special, for once. As he thought about that new teacher, how he had spoken to him and how he had looked right into Crona's eyes, he felt his face flush. The feel of the man's hand on his had caused Crona's skin to tingle in a pleasant way. This teacher was different and special. Crona knew from then that Mr. Death would be his favorite teacher, and someone he would look up to._

Stepping out of the shower, Crona thought about how innocent his feelings had been back then. The way he felt about his teacher then was similar to how he felt about Marie; he thought of both of them as adults that he admired and respected. Over time, though, his feelings really did begin to change. As he got older, he started to see Mr. Death as someone near his age; almost like an equal. And the man had treated Crona like an equal, too.

Crona was so lost in thought about his secret crush that the morning flew by. What he had had for breakfast completely slipped his mind as soon as he had finished it, and before long he had found himself walking up to the school. He sat through his classes, numbly taking note and speaking when spoken to. He couldn't think of anything other than Kid, and his fear of having to go to his class last period. He was afraid that the teacher would ask him to stay after class, and talk to him about what had happened the day before. He had no idea what he would ever say in that situation. Would he break down and come clean? Would he run away again? In all honesty, Crona did not want to find out.

* * *

For some reason, Kid was nervous about attending his job today. He hadn't been this nervous since his first day at this school. Maybe it was because of Crona… No, it was defiantly Crona that was making him so nervous. Should he talk to him about the day before? Or should he wait and let the boy approach him? Shaking his head, Kid decided to just let things be for today. Forgetting about it for a day could be a good thing. _I'll just talk to Crona tomorrow, _Kid decided as he finished knotting his black tie. _He probably won't talk today, anyway._

The day continued like most of his days did; boring, long and without any excitement. Sometimes he wondered why he even chose to pursue a career in teaching. But, then, he would remember Crona, and realize that his reason was there. He wanted to be the teacher that understood and cared about his students; unlike all the teachers he had had growing up. It was the memory of his life in school that kept him going each day. If he could help even one of his students, he felt like his day had been well spent.

Finally, the last class of the day arrived. It was one of Kid's favorite classes to teach, for no reason other than Crona. Getting to see the boy every day was a guilty pleasure for him, and he knew that it would be for as long as Crona attends his class. He could tell Crona was on edge today, though, by the way he didn't look at Kid at all. Normally Kid would catch the pink haired boy looking at him, but today it was the exact opposite. _Because of what happened yesterday…_ Kid thought. The memory caused him to wonder, again, who this person Crona had a crush on was, though. It was killing him not to know, but he knew Crona wouldn't tell him.

With a sigh of frustration, Kid called an end to the class and let them pack their belongings in anticipation of the end of school. The room was noisy with chatter of weekend plans from the teenagers, but Kid had become used to tuning them out. Everyone in the room looked so happy, except for Crona. He looked… nervous? He looked like he might even be scared. Either way, it hurt Kid's heart to see him looking so lonely and sad. If only he could comfort him. If only he could admit how he felt. If only- Kid's thoughts were cut off by the sound of the bell and loud teens.


End file.
